Come back, Bondra!

Fred immediately alerted me to this item:

According to the Washington Times, the Capitals extended a contract offer to right wing Peter Bondra, the franchise's all-time leading scorer.

It would be such a score for the Caps if they could get Bondra back. He still has his house in Annapolis, so that's a plus. For God's sake, the man cried when he got traded to Ottawa...so I'm hoping he wants to come back, even if it's for less money than the other teams are offering. Not to mention that this is the jolt that the Caps need in order to re-energize the fan base. Even after Bondra was gone, 70% of the crowd continued to wear Bondra jerseys. He's a class act and I hope he re-signs with the team. What a kick in the nuts it would be to see him playing for Florida or Atlanta or some other crap team.

This is one trend I just do not understand: competitive eating.

According to the International Federation of Competitive Eating -- yes, such a thing exists -- she holds 17 world records. Her grand gorges range from baked beans (8.4 pounds in 2 minutes, 47 seconds) to hard-boiled eggs (65 in 6:40), oysters (552, or 46 dozen, in 10 minutes) and cheesecake (11 pounds in nine minutes).

The woman is 5'5" and weighs 99 pounds! How does she do it?

George Shea, who runs the federation, sees Miss Thomas as a triple threat: great hand-eye-mouth coordination, a lethal jaw and an accordionlike stomach. "If you look at her cheeks and her jaw, she has an extraordinary mouth to go with that esophagus," Mr. Shea said. "She seems to be a new breed of species -- with a very large mouth. Look at the size of those cheeks; it is beautiful."

Apparently she's a chipmunk.

She says her best weapon is her deceptive belly, which leads her to favor longer events so she can outlast opponents with limited capacities. "It expands," she said. "If you don't have a big stomach, you get sick. So you have to expand your stomach."

Makes me sick just thinking about it. So what does she eat every day at her job, managing a Burger King at Andrews AFB?

When she's at work at Burger King, she eats only one meal a day. This fast-food feast rarely varies: a chicken whopper (no mayo), two five-piece chicken nuggets, large french fries and a 42-ounce soda (diet, of course).

Of course, that soda HAS to be diet. Gotta save all the calories for the food.