Crybaby Brown

Life is sweet. Kwame is stinking it up in L.A. these days:

Through seven games the 6-foot-11 power forward -- and former No. 1 overall pick -- is averaging just over six points and six rebounds in 28 minutes. He's shooting 39.6 percent from the floor. He's getting in early foul trouble. He's committing 2.71 turnovers per game.

And what does the team have to offer? Why, a bunch of excuses, of course:

For now the Lakers remain optimistic. They point out that Brown is still just 23 years old and that he only recently shed the splint on his thumb. They say he's generally worked hard and shown no signs of the poor attitude that poisoned his tenure with the Wizards. They also say his teammates have to do a better job of getting him the ball.

Oh, please. You could have him play a bunch of midgets (or is that "little people?") and he'd still have problems finding the basket. Poor baby, he got a boo-boo on his thumb and it hurted...a real athlete plays through pain consistently and well regardless, even in basketball. What a wuss.

You know it's bad when even your own coach thinks you suck:

"We thought this kid would be a natural out there for a double-double on any given night in the NBA," Jackson said at the time. "We have to really get after him to meet those expectations."

BWAH! I want to see the Phil Jackson smackdown on Kwame and see how Kwame reacts to that.

Kornheiser had a great "columnette" (his word) on Ovey today:

Here's my problem: Nothing really rhymes with Ovechkin.
You know, other than "Gobetchkin." Or "Mushneztkin." And they're kind of hard to work into a clever catchphrase for the best young hockey player this city has ever had.

He's absolutely right. If you haven't seen him yet- even if you don't like hockey- I insist you buy a cheap ticket to a game and go see him. The boy skates circles around EVERYONE on the ice, he scores, he even delivers some mean checks- we're talking higlight-reel stuff here. So much fun to watch.

And here's why I love Tony K.:

The Pittsburgh kid -- what's his name, Bing Crosby? -- already has 14 assists in 19 games to go with seven goals. He's obviously a great playmaker, but I'm taking the thunder...And now I'm pledging myself to Ovechkin, too. He's My Man!

Finally! A sportswriter who doesn't wet himself over the thought of Crosby! And who loves Ovechkin more! Now there's a first.