Fred Bowen of KidsPost must have been reading my mind, because this column appeared yesterday:
The Washington Wizards unveiled their new alternate uniforms recently: a shiny gold top and black trunks, with lots of black stars on the sides and shoulders. The new uniforms are, in a word, ugly -- possibly the worst in the league. They look like circus costumes.
The team's new fashion statement got me thinking about sports uniforms. Some uniforms are cool. Some are not so cool. Let's look at the good, the bad and the ugly of sports uniforms.
The Chicago Bears have the best uniform in the National Football League when they wear their dark helmets with the red "C," dark shirts and white pants. That's when the Bears look like the "Monsters of the Midway." When the Bears wear their orange jerseys, they look like the Chicago Pumpkins.
The Seattle Seahawks have the ugliest NFL uniforms, especially when they wear a single color. By the way, what is that color? Green? Blue? Gray? Or greenish-blueish gray? I can't find the Seahawks' color anywhere in my box of 64 crayons.
Lots of NFL teams have great helmets. I love the look of the helmets worn by the Colts, Falcons, Broncos and Texans. But the Miami Dolphins' helmet is dopey. A dolphin leaping out of the water wearing a helmet doesn't make the team look tough at all.
In college football, the Penn State uniforms are perfect: blue and white with nothing fancy. The University of Oregon's uniforms are a fashion nightmare. The Ducks wear green and yellow with some kind of crisscross pattern on the shoulders and knees.
Hockey uniforms are either terrific or terrible. I love the fiery red "C" on the Calgary Flames' jersey. The Detroit Red Wings, Florida Panthers and Minnesota Wild have cool jerseys, too. But I'm not crazy about jerseys with cartoon characters on the front such as the Pittsburgh Penguins, San Jose Sharks and Phoenix Coyotes wear.
Got some great comments on the last post. I can't believe
I forgot about the Cryers' long pants. And I think we can all agree that cartoon characters are a bad thing on jerseys; Phil's comment about the Hawks jersey brings it all home. Take a look. Netsrak also brings up a number of valid entries, like the Ducks' 1990s third jersey (truly horrible) and the Fishsticks jersey.Sadly, we never got to make fun of this one, as it was ix-nayed by Mike Keenan:
As for the Oregon football team- what are they thinking with the tread pattern on the shoulders and knees? "Walk all over me?"
7 comments:
I will have to disagree about the Seahawks uniforms, they are much better than the previous blue color and the new seahawk logo is awesome. Now I will agree with you on the Oregon Uni's.. I'm not sure what they were thinking...
I'll second his statements on college football uniforms.
With all this talk about uniforms you are going to give Paul Lukas a run for his money.
Anyone for the Asiago Hockey (Italy) jersey? A riot of stars on a light blue background, plus advertisements. It's as if Salvador Dali horked up an "Old Glory"
Great to meet you last night. Fantastic game!
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Uniforms. I like Calgary's reds better when they had the white numbers and names with yellow trim. ... Buffalo's roadies this season are hideous. Favorite hockey uniform for me is probably Chicago's home red.
For college football, I've always like LSU's look.
Don't pick on my poor Seahawks...By the way, the study in my house is painted Seattle's colors!
How great was that game last night?~!
This is actually the Hawks uni I was referring to (much worse than the home version). While we're at it, I hate these too.
As for good uni's, I loved Tech's blue jerseys, despite the woeful performance in them.
There are many jerseys which are infinitely uglier than anything you mentioned thus far.
1977 Chicago White Sox: the team wore softball shorts with those flopping black and white monstrosities.
1980 Tuscon Toros: a minor-league baseball team whose hat was a glorified trucker hat, the pants were orange, and the jersey had a turquoise back and a front with horizontal yellow, red, orange, lime, and avocado stripes.
2004 Northwestern women's lacrosse: white or purple one-piece uniforms that looked like 1960s-era tennis dresses. With the mandatory goggles, they looked like alien beekeepers.
2004 Australian national net-ball team: bodysuit with a baby-doll dress slung over it in the Oz colors of green and gold with black accents. The pattern looked like a flu contagion writ large
1978 Colorado Caribous: Brokeback soccer, including a row of gold tassels around the torso to look like a Western shirt
2005 Providence Bruins: Their warmup jerseys were sponsored by Dunkin' Donuts, so the color scheme was gold, black, white, pink, and orange!
And I can't believe nobody mentioned "Wild Wing," the 1994 Anaheim jersey that's so ugly that it fetches more than $300 on eBay!
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