Ho ho ho

So before I sign off for the next several days (my internet access will only be DIALUP, how prehistoric), I leave you with these holiday sights from the Redskins-Cowboys game this past Sunday. I'm sure I'll have some good ones from the Texans-Jaguars game this coming Saturday when I return.

My friend D. was especially taken with these two guys, Santa and his elf, who were each carrying and drinking a 6-pack of Negra Modelo on their way into the game:

Then there was the redneck Christmas tree, with continual decoration (note the "presents" underneath). Someone obviously stopped at the $16.99 tree lot on the way in:

And finally, this shot in the crowd from the upper levels on our way up to the nosebleeds. It was a nightmare to get in, but this guy didn't seem to mind:

Happy holidays!

Bad day for Beantown fans

Well, now we know what Johnny would do...accept $52 million to go to the Yankees. *shudder* Not that I'm a big J.D. or Red Sox fan, but the Yankees? Seems like a disaster waiting to happen. Talk about a team that chokes! Eh, they'll be perfect together.

In other baseball news, Sidney Ponson went to the Cardinals:

Pitcher Sidney Ponson agreed Wednesday to a one-year contract with the St. Louis Cardinals...Ponson's agreement with the Cardinals calls for a $1 million base salary and allows him to earn an additional $1.5 million in performance bonuses.

Well, that's a bit of a difference from his $22.5 million, three-year contract with the Orioles, but that was before his recent "issues"...IMO, I think he should be lucky to get anything at all.

Canada announced their men's and women's Olympic teams today; the bad news is that Todd Bertuzzi is on it (boo), but Sidney "too big for his hockey pants" Crosby is not (yay!). Well, at least the Canadians did one thing right. Even for all his talent, Crosby seems too green to have been going to the Olympics with an experienced team, but given all the endless dedicated media coverage and attention on him and the personal endorsement from Lemieux, it's not surprising that he would have expected it. I'm sure Crosby will be rarin' to go in four years; wonder if he'll pull a Roenick before the next Games?

Because everyone responds well to blackmail...

NEWS FLASH- Jeremy Roenick has been shooting his mouth off again recently. This, from a Dec. 8 ESPN.com article:

When the United States announces its men's Olympic hockey team on Dec. 19, one player expects to make the cut ... or else.

Kings center Jeremy Roenick told The Los Angeles Times that he "better be" on the Olympic team that will compete in Turin, Italy, in February.

"It would be a travesty if I'm not," Roenick told the newspaper. "I know they want a youth movement, and they need to have one, but it'd be disrespectful of the guys who have gotten Team USA to this point internationally."

Whatever happened to "carrying the torch" and all that? If you want a team to win, do you want a sleek young racehorse or an old mule? Bad analogy, but you know what I mean. Anyway, it gets better:

Roenick, 35, told The Times that if he doesn't make the cut, Team USA "better hope that I don't get a job as a commentator on NBC for [the Games], or it'd be 'Go Canada' all the way, and I don't want that."

Roenick, it's time to get out of the bitter barn. Anyone could have told him that day that he wasn't going to be on the team FOR SURE after his lackluster play this year, much less because of his stupid comments. I doubt NBC will pick him up, since ESPN seems to have the lovefest with him. They'll probably hire him for something Olympics-related and he can scream about how unfair it all is then.

So, fast forward to today, when it was revealed that he'll be out 4-6 weeks with a broken finger (don't tough hockey guys usually play with broken fingers?):

"Just when I was starting to get into a groove and getting things in the right place, this happens," Roenick said. "But, oh well, what are you going to do?"

The dejected tone was in stark contrast to his angry comments Monday night when he discussed not being picked for the American roster for the Turin Olympics, saying he was left off the team "because [USA Hockey has] been blackballing me since September."

The 36-year-old called the decision to leave him off the team "disrespectful."

Dude, what a crybaby. Get over it! I'm sure my boy Jeff Halpern was disappointed about not being picked (and he should have been chosen; he's a great player and NOT A WHINER like some guys), but you don't hear him crying about it. If Roenick doesn't like the situation, then he should retire from hockey.

Where have all the Cowboys gone?

Once I download my pics from the game, I'll post them. It was very entertaining, to say the least. In the meantime, here are two phrases I am sick of already:

(1) "running the table"

(2) "winning out"

ARGH! I'm glad the Cowgirls lost bigtime today (hee hee, still gleeful about that) but geez- I'm sick of the "Redskins rock" talk. Come on, let's be realistic here. I'll wait and hold all further judgment about them until after the Giants play them- then we'll see. How's that?

Suggestions needed!

I won an autographed photo of Michael Weatherly from "NCIS" (did you know he started his career on "The Cosby Show?" I wonder which character he was?) and I need suggestions about what he should write on the photo. Apparently he'll write anything, like, "I think I left my cufflinks on your nightstand," unlike Mark Harmon. (Nothing wrong with being on the straight and narrow, just stating the facts as I understand them.) I also found out yesterday that one of my contacts in southern CA can arrange for me to get onto the NCIS set next time I'm out there. It would be fun to meet him in person.

Anyway, I need ideas for what he should write on the photo- I'm at a loss!

Get in line to administer T.O.'s birthday smacks

Did you hear about T.O.'s birthday party?

[T.O.] hosted a birthday party Monday night at rapper Jay-Z's 40-40 club. T.O. turned 32 on Dec. 7...Owens arrived shortly before midnight, wearing a white suit. "Everything's great. It's a party," he said. "I have everything I want. My mom's here."

He's a momma's boy! That explains those temper tantrums.

By one count, there were 19 Eagles at the party, including players on injured reserve and the practice squad. None of the players were concerned that management would have a problem with them attending the party. "It's a wonderful event and I'm just showing some support," [Jevon] Kearse said. "He's a wonderful teammate."

Is Kearse for real? T.O. is a wonderful teammate? Wow. What's he smoking?

Scantily clad women wearing different colored No. 81 jerseys with question marks representing the team name provided some of the entertainment for the guests. The party invitations arrived last week and were shaped like a penalty flag. They read: "There's a flag on the play? After further review, No. 81 is at it again."

That's OK, it's entertainment for us peons as well...to speculate which team is the next sucker to pick this jackass up. Such ridiculous self-promotion! But that's T.O. for you.

How about this brilliant quote:

"I would go to battle with T.O. any day of the week. A lot of people don't understand him," said former Eagles receiver Freddie Mitchell, one of the early arrivals.

Um, Freddie, I think you mean you'd go to battle FOR T.O., dumbass. I'm sure there are many people who'd love to go to battle with him.

And here's why T.O. is such a great guy, a "wonderful teammate," who anyone would be willing to "go to battle for any day of the week":

Owens also annoyed the Eagles by violating the dress code on road trips, parking in coaches' spots at the team's practice facility and sleeping through one team meeting, not bringing his playbook to another and refusing to open the playbook at another meeting.

Most of that stuff is just plain annoying. But parking in a coach's spot? That's obnoxious. Unbelievable, but there you go.

And yay- Joey Eischen's coming back after all! I lost hope after hearing some rumors and not seeing him listed on the roster on the Nationals.com website, but he's got a one-year deal. I'm so glad; he's my favorite loudmouth. Seriously, he's great for team morale and Frank Robinson loves him. He often spends a lot of time early in the game in the dugout hanging with Frank (as opposed to being in the bullpen with the other pitchers). Love him!

Artest is at it again

Ron Artest, best known for mobbin' it up in the Motor City last year, has gone prima donna on the Pacers:

Artest for the first time publicly said he wants to be traded..."I think I cause a lot of problems here," said Artest, who has missed the past two games with a wrist injury.

Gee, ya think?

"I'm so demanding of the ball. It's not my fault," he said.

Well, if he ever has to go on a job interview, he's got the "what's your greatest weakness?" question down. Instead of saying something like "I'm a perfectionist" or "I work too hard," he can use, "I'm so demanding of the ball." And of course it isn't his fault. It's never HIS fault.

I love Jermaine O'Neal's response, though:

"I'm not going to answer any more questions about Ron Artest," he said. "Ron doesn't want to be here, so Ron doesn't matter anymore."

I don't think Ron mattered before either, but that's a different story.

In other news, perennial drunk Sidney Ponson was sentenced today:

A judge sentenced former Baltimore Orioles pitcher Sidney Ponson to five days in jail Monday after convicting him of driving while impaired...The judge also fined Ponson $500, plus court costs and fees totaling less than $60. Mann noted Ponson had two previous drunken driving charges, one in 1996 in Maryland and one in January in Florida.
"In light of this, the court cannot conclude anything but that some jail time is needed," Mann said.

THAT's certainly going to teach him a lesson! After all, the eleven days he spent in jail in Aruba seemed to have helped- he hasn't fought on any beaches lately. So maybe these five days in jail will help with the drunk driving, right?

Have I mentioned lately how much I love Ovey? He's so cute, I just want to eat him up with a spoon:

After the Capitals' loss Friday, Alex Ovechkin sought out Pavel Datsyuk, a fellow Russian and former teammate on Moscow Dynamo. After the two spoke for a few minutes, Ovechkin returned to the Capitals' locker room with Datsyuk's hockey stick, which the Detroit star autographed and wrote "Good Luck" on the blade.

Ovechkin said he planned to add it to his collection of hockey memorabilia, which includes 2,000 hockey cards and about a half-dozen sticks from Russian players he admires. He already has autographed sticks from the New York Islanders' Alexei Yashin, the Atlanta Thrashers' Ilya Kovalchuk, the New Jersey Devils' Viktor Kozlov and the Buffalo Sabres' Maxim Afinogenov, among others.

Asked why he only has sticks from Russians, Ovechkin smiled and said: "I don't know. I like how we play."

*sigh* Isn't he dreamy? Oh yeah, and he's an amazing player, too.

Thanks to Eric at Off Wing Opinion for the mention last week! That's quite an honor :-)

On a side note, I think playing Erotic Photo Hunt should count as a sport. Miss M and I tore it up the other night at Harry's. (Not my usual bar, but at least I was able to mock the Dead Things fans. Sorry, Marci.)

Mullets galore

For today's post, I must direct you to Marci's blog. She links to the Flames' 1987 "Red Hot" video, which is totally sweet.

Fred's comment: "Funny to see Rookie Brett Hull and former Caps coach Tim Hunter way back when."

It's worth a look- check it out!

Cheering for Laundry

See, this is why I don't own a jersey with a particular player's name or number on it, especially a National:

The Washington Nationals...[acquired] slugging second baseman Alfonso Soriano from the Texas Rangers for outfielders Brad Wilkerson and Terrmel Sledge, plus a minor leaguer...

It's too bad. Wilkie wasn't a bad guy to have on the team; he seemed to be good for morale. He started off the season with that strong game in Philly, hitting for the cycle, and hit the team's only grand slam this year. But he suffered through the second half of the season and was a marked man by the end.

The loss of Wilkerson takes away the player who, when the Expos franchise moved from Montreal after the 2004 season, figured to be the face of the new Washington franchise. He was the Nationals' most significant chip to trade, and there are scouts who feel he has enormous potential.

The Rangers, who need starting pitching more than anything else, may choose to spin Wilkerson off in a deal for a pitcher, and a league source said late Wednesday night they were involved in talks with the Toronto Blue Jays, who are known to covet Wilkerson.

No more Chevy Chase Bank ads! It will be weird to see him in Toronto.

That's OK, the Nats definitely needed a stronger hitter. Wilkie wasn't exactly doing the job, especially at the end. Sledge seemed to have some potential, but was injured for such a long time; who needs that? I just don't understand why the Nats had to give up three players, but hey, it can't get much worse. (Now that I've said that, Hernandez or Patterson will be traded or something.) I'm just sad that my favorite loudmouth, Joey Eischen, won't be returning next season. I'll still go to the games, of course, but it's going to be a sad year, the way they're cleaning house.

Ethics lapse in Canada?

This article is from last week, but I held onto it until the results came out:

When Hockey Canada names its 32-man roster for the final selection camp for the world junior team Monday, it will in all likelihood ostensibly be condoning cross-checking your teammate in the face, then leaving your team and demanding a trade....Once again, it appears that no matter how players behave, they're free to represent their country as long as they can do the job on the ice.

Sure enough...

Downie's trade to the Petes in the wake of junior hockey's biggest scandal this season, combined with Downie's play for the Petes since coming back, landed him among the 34 players invited to Canada's final selection camp. And while there are no locks, it's clear Downie will have to play himself off the team not to be included in Canada's plans.

Team Canada's director of player personnel went on the defensive regarding Downie:

"...I'm not saying Steve Downie is an angel, but you know what, neither are 34 players that come to camp and neither are the people standing around here talking to me right now."

Yeah, but I doubt any other players (or reporters, for that matter) cross-checked and fought their own teammates, were suspended and ordered to receive counseling, and then demanded a trade. I don't think any of the other guys did anything THAT bad.

The first article also mentions the similar dilemma Team Canada was in with Bertuzzi, another screwup. Of course his previous horrible behavior didn't matter then, either. Apparently, practically ending someone else's career doesn't matter to Team Canada. I suppose it's ideal if you can do that to one of your opponents, especially in the Olympics, as long as it's not a guy on your own NHL team. I still can't believe that Bertuzzi didn't serve any real punishment for that. What utter bullshit. It's too bad; I used to like (or at least not hate) the Canucks, but not since the verdict came out.

Just to set the record straight, I wouldn't like this situation if it happened in the U.S. either; it's not a nationalistic thing. It's a fairness thing. Why should someone be rewarded for their shameful behavior like that? I understand that a country wants their team to win, but I don't care if the guy's a good player. It would be like if football was an Olympic sport and they wanted to put T.O. on there; it would be morally wrong to put him on the team (i.e., rewarding him for stupid and childish behavior). I realize that pro sports is not about ethics and morals, but it seems demoralizing for the kids who dream of being on Team Canada (both the junior and senior teams) someday. It doesn't teach a good lesson; it shows that as long as you're a good player, you can act any way you want to and your behavior will be excused. Great.

Fred's at the Caps game tonight so he hasn't seen this post yet, but I'm sure that as a Canadian citizen and hockey fan, he'll have plenty to say about it.

More drama in Detroit

First fans auctioning themselves off on eBay, now this. Have the Lions hit rock bottom yet?

An embarrassing football season hit a new low for the Lions Sunday when a security guard tackled a fan carrying a sign demanding the team fire its president, Matt Millen.

"There were actually two or three signs going around. I saw them come over and tell us to put the signs down and all of a sudden, it started getting passed around and it made its way to me," he recalled Monday. "I told my roommate, ‘I’m going to take it through our section and hand it off.’ When I went through our section, everyone stood up and started cheering," deBruin recalled.

He went on to tell the rest of his story: "Next thing, I make it to the next section and everyone is cheering then I figured what’s it going to hurt? I’m not disrupting the game. I’m not throwing anything on the field. I’m not endangering anyone – which they said was the main reason. Everyone stood up and let me go through. Everyone was high-fiving me and cheering me. I figured I would make it around the stadium and go back to my seat and sit down, but next thing I know, I was tackled from behind."

Maybe the Lions should put some of those security guards on defense...they sure could have used them in the Thanksgiving Day game.

Millen's an idiot. I don't know how Mariucci (another moron) gets axed and Millen gets to keep his job. The Lions were actually doing well until Millen came on the scene. Oh well, that's Detroit for you.

Bad times in DC sports (and I'm not even talking about the Redskins)

The Caps' losing season continues:

The Washington Capitals' efforts to force prospect Alexander Semin to return from Russia and honor his NHL contract were dealt a setback in U.S. District Court in Washington yesterday.
Judge Henry H. Kennedy Jr. denied the Capitals' motion to issue preliminary injunctions against Semin and his agent, Mark Gandler , saying in his opinion the team did not prove a "substantial likelihood of success on the merits."

Who did the Russians pay off this time? That's such a load of crap. Semin has a contract with the Caps; he's supposed to honor it. I don't see him too concerned about fulfilling his two-year military commitment, which he claims he'll complete by next fall. (How does one fulfill two years of military service in less than one year, anyway?) Sure hope they can stick it to him in the next round.

Marc Fisher uncovered the story about our "national disgrace," aka Bud Selig:

Today, the offseason is a technophile's delight, a time to run stats, memorize player salaries, and now, thanks to angry Washington Nationals fans, googlebomb the commissioner of baseball.
As of yesterday, an Internet search for "national disgrace" produced the official biography of Commissioner Bud Selig, who runs neck and neck with D.C. Council Chairman Linda Cropp and Baltimore Orioles owner Peter Angelos in the race for Number One Enemy of the Nats People.

By using their blogs to create links from a given phrase to a particular page on the Web, googlebombers outfox the search engine's algorithm for determining what results pop up.

"We were really frustrated with the continued delays about naming an owner," says an organizer of the Selig attack, John Yudas, a Web designer who lives in Alexandria. "We thought about not buying season tickets, but we didn't want to hurt the Nationals." So they tried googlebombing.

Works for me! Hey, if the shoe fits...

But on one seemingly positive note (let's see how long this one lasts):

Freddy Adu and D.C. United say they have settled their differences, essentially ensuring that the 16-year-old forward will return to the Major League Soccer club for a third season this spring.

In his first media interview in seven weeks, Adu told The Post: "We laid everything on the table and everything is resolved. It's over and now we can concentrate on winning the championship again."

I find it hard to believe that Freddy has suddenly forgiven everyone and everything associated with DC United, especially since he isn't remorseful (and seems a little fake) in the comments below:

Asked if he regretted his comments before the playoffs, Adu said: "I don't want to go back and talk about that and dwell on it. What happened is past now and that's that. I'm glad everything is okay with D.C. United, I'm happy to be going back to D.C. United and getting ready to play because I love D.C. United."

Okay then! Lovefest it is!

And poor Fred- I told him in May when he put $20 on the Eagles winning the Super Bowl in 2006 that they were jinxed. He still loves them though. At least he's not as fickle as this guy:

I've been a loyal Detroit Lion's fan for more than twenty years but after Thursday's loss, I can't take it any more.

I'm selling my services as a National Footbal League fan to the highest bidder.
I CAN BE A FAN FOR YOUR TEAM!

The winning bidder will get to pick my new favorite NFL team. I will root loudly and enthusiastically for my new team for the remainder of the 2005-2006 season and the entire 2006-2007 season.

** Mininum bid of $2,499 required for those wanting me to be a fan for the Browns, Ravens, Cardinals or Packers. Those are the teams the Lions managed to beat this year.

90 Minutes with Brian Mitchell

So Fred, a couple of friends, and I were hanging out with Brian Mitchell today in the Owner's Suite at FedEx Field and Brian said...

No, this isn't a fantasy. While it may be a dream to some, I won a prize package where we received gift cards to the Redskins store, got a tour of the stadium, met some former Redskins and a couple of cheerleaders, and watched the game from Dan Snyder's suite. Oh yeah, and I also got tickets to the Redskins-Cowboys game in a couple of weeks.

It figures, of course, that a non-Redskins fan would win such a prize. (They gave away several such prizes in this area.) But Fred and I decided that such an experience would be well worth the taxes. Armed with our cameras, we braved the maroon and gold and went on the tour. First stop: the press box. Next stop: the locker room. Fred just HAD to do this under the sign that says, "This is our home, our place, our victory!"

We also got to check out the coaches' locker room. The next part was cool: the path that the players take to the field. I can only imagine the energy (going onto the field, anyway; coming off of it, especially after a loss, has to suck).

After the tour, we went back to the Owner's Suite to meet the former Redskins and the cheerleaders and prepared for the game. In case you were wondering, Dan Snyder pees here:

Anyway, the four of us were hanging out by the bar and noticed Brian Mitchell. (It was hard not to notice him, as most of the other winners- hardcore Redskins fans- kept accosting him.) Somehow we ended up talking to him, and he spent almost all of his time there hanging out with us before he left to film the postgame show on Comcast. I was able to get some interesting information out of him (give or take a few stretches of my memory):

ON THE COLTS: "They're going to be unbeaten. Do you remember who won the Super Bowl five years ago? No. Do you remember who the only unbeaten team was? Yes. They're going to do it."

ON PHILLY CHEESESTEAKS: "I don't like things on my meat. If you have to put something on meat, like onions or steak sauce, it's no good."

ON ANDY REID: "I like Andy Reid as a coach. Great coach. But he takes things personally."

ON HOT SAUCE: "I love to cook. In Philly, I used to make big pots of gumbo and jambalaya on Friday nights and add some hot sauce. Duce Staley asked me once to make a big pot just for him and to add lots of habanero sauce, so I put in two cups. Next thing I know, he's sweating, asking, 'Is it hot in here or is it just me?'"

Those are just a few of the nuggets I heard from him. Brian was a lot of fun to talk with...he chatted a lot about his kids as well as what he's doing these days. It was cool to hear about what's going on with him.

We also popped into the room where Dan Snyder watches the games from- much smaller than I thought. And since the Redskins won, I suppose it was a successful day. (I do not care about the Rams at all.) I will most certainly be cheering for the 'Skins at the game in two weeks, as I usually like to cheer for the underdog anyway and I LOATHE the Cowgirls. So there you have it.

BTW, I have small tokens for The Captain and I-66, as long as they're not too obnoxious...

Mystery solved!

An interesting development this week before Saturday's Army-Navy game:

The Naval Academy recovered the Commander-In-Chief's Trophy, awarded annually to the winner of the football competition among the three major service academies, last night when it was found in a storage room inside the school's dormitory approximately 48 hours after it was believed to have been stolen, said Chet Gladchuk, Navy's athletic director.

The trophy, which is 2 1/2 feet tall and weighs 170 pounds, was removed from the football team's locker room in Ricketts Hall, where it was moved Monday afternoon to motivate the team for its game against Army on Saturday in Philadelphia.

The trophy is normally kept in a locked glass case in the Rotunda area of Bancroft Hall, the school's dormitory. There, it is approximately 20 feet from the building's main office, where Midshipmen are on guard 24 hours a day, according to junior linebacker Tyler Tidwell, who lives at Bancroft Hall.

Monday night, Navy athletic officials discovered the theft along with a note that read: "Before we win the football game on Saturday, we thought we would take the trophy. By the time you read this, it will be halfway to West Point."

The obvious question: if middies are supposedly guarding it 24 hours a day, how did the cadets steal it? Was it an inside job? Or maybe the middies were trying to frame the cadets? What intrigue lies inside the Naval Academy? I'm sure Bill will get to the bottom of this...

First Down

I love that the undercover officers "fumbled" upon the operation...from the Chicago Tribune:

Tampa police arrested 10 people on Sunday outside Raymond James Stadium accusing them of operating a mobile strip club in the parking lot before the Bucs-Bears game. Undercover officers fumbled upon the business after noticing smiling young women in Buccaneers jerseys handing out fliers before Sunday's kickoff against the Bears. Police found several bouncers and dancers inside the jet-black, 40-foot-long 1987 motor home, which was being guarded by four men. Police found alcohol being sold inside and lap dances being conducted at $20 if the woman was topless and $40 if she was nude. Officers confiscated $2,000 and the arrests were made before kickoff. Regrettably for some Vikings, Tampa Bay played at Minnesota this year.

*CHOKE*

Anyway, it's also funny that the Cowboys, Redskins, and Giants all lose in OT this week, while hapless Philly wins. Cosmic forces at work here?

Tofurky Trauma

Oh, here's a great idea, brought to you by PETA (duh):

Now that he's moved over to Monday Night Football, NFL announcer John Madden won't be appearing in the broadcast booth at either of the two Thanksgiving Day NFL match-ups this year, and-thankfully-neither will his drumstick-and-cholesterol-laden turkey. PETA would love to see Madden's tradition of honoring the game's stars continue-but with a compassionate twist.

PETA has sent a delicious Tofurky® vegetarian feast to Madden, as well as Greg Gumbel, Phil Simms, and Armen Keteyian of CBS and Joe Buck, Chris Collinsworth, and Troy Aikman of Fox, asking them to give out the first annual "Tofurky Award" to the Player of the Game during their Thanksgiving week broadcasts.

I love animals as much as/if not more than the next person, but this is absurd (as well as a blatant Tofurky marketing gimmick).

The letter to Madden and the other broadcasters is great:

What NFL player wouldn't want to be rewarded with a healthy, delicious veggie roast, instead of the greasy tendons and fatty turkey skin that he's had in the past?

What player, indeed? Is this one of those pesky rhetorical questions, like "Is the Pope Catholic" or "Does a bear shit in the woods?"

I've never tried Tofurky, so I have no idea if it's any good; however, I can't see the "Tofurky Award" going over too well. How great would that be- you're the player of the game and you're presented with a big hunk of Tofurky? Sweet. I wonder how Gumbel, Collinsworth, Aikmen, et al. enjoyed their Tofurky feasts...

Update

More details on Jiri Fischer:

"His heart had stopped, and there was no pulse," coach Mike Babcock said. "But they hooked up the auto defibrillator, and they shocked him. The heartbeat that leads to death, they got that stopped, and going, and they continued with the CPR.
"It's our understanding that things are fine, and that he is going to be fine. He's stable."

Scary stuff. Glad to hear he's doing all right, though.

Fischer's Bench Collapse

A scary moment tonight for Jiri Fischer and the Red Wings:

Red Wings defenseman Jiri Fischer collapsed and was taken from the Detroit bench on a stretcher late in the first period of Monday night's game against the Nashville Predators.
Fischer suffered a seizure and was taken to Detroit Receiving Hospital where he was stable and responsive, according to John Hahn, Red Wings senior director of communications.
Play was stopped with 7:31 left in the period after the Red Wings alerted officials to a problem on the bench. Medical personnel performed CPR on the 25-year-old Fischer for several minutes and he was wheeled back toward the Red Wings dressing room.
An ambulance arrived at Joe Louis Arena and Steve Yzerman and Kris Draper skated a stretcher across the ice to where the player was being treated.
Two Red Wings players also helped escort Fischer's fiancee across the ice to the bench area.

As it turns out, the rest of the game was canceled. There was a lot of discussion as to what happened- did a puck or a stick hit him?- but it was a seizure or a heart attack. Given that Fischer has a heart condition, it was likely a mild heart attack.

Hope he gets better soon...

Crybaby Brown

Life is sweet. Kwame is stinking it up in L.A. these days:

Through seven games the 6-foot-11 power forward -- and former No. 1 overall pick -- is averaging just over six points and six rebounds in 28 minutes. He's shooting 39.6 percent from the floor. He's getting in early foul trouble. He's committing 2.71 turnovers per game.

And what does the team have to offer? Why, a bunch of excuses, of course:

For now the Lakers remain optimistic. They point out that Brown is still just 23 years old and that he only recently shed the splint on his thumb. They say he's generally worked hard and shown no signs of the poor attitude that poisoned his tenure with the Wizards. They also say his teammates have to do a better job of getting him the ball.

Oh, please. You could have him play a bunch of midgets (or is that "little people?") and he'd still have problems finding the basket. Poor baby, he got a boo-boo on his thumb and it hurted...a real athlete plays through pain consistently and well regardless, even in basketball. What a wuss.

You know it's bad when even your own coach thinks you suck:

"We thought this kid would be a natural out there for a double-double on any given night in the NBA," Jackson said at the time. "We have to really get after him to meet those expectations."

BWAH! I want to see the Phil Jackson smackdown on Kwame and see how Kwame reacts to that.

Kornheiser had a great "columnette" (his word) on Ovey today:

Here's my problem: Nothing really rhymes with Ovechkin.
You know, other than "Gobetchkin." Or "Mushneztkin." And they're kind of hard to work into a clever catchphrase for the best young hockey player this city has ever had.

He's absolutely right. If you haven't seen him yet- even if you don't like hockey- I insist you buy a cheap ticket to a game and go see him. The boy skates circles around EVERYONE on the ice, he scores, he even delivers some mean checks- we're talking higlight-reel stuff here. So much fun to watch.

And here's why I love Tony K.:

The Pittsburgh kid -- what's his name, Bing Crosby? -- already has 14 assists in 19 games to go with seven goals. He's obviously a great playmaker, but I'm taking the thunder...And now I'm pledging myself to Ovechkin, too. He's My Man!

Finally! A sportswriter who doesn't wet himself over the thought of Crosby! And who loves Ovechkin more! Now there's a first.

2-point implosion

Believe it or not, I made it back from Pigeon Forge. What a scary place- too many airbrushing stands and men wearing overalls. Once Moryma sends me her pics, I'll be putting something up on One Quarter Asian. I could do an entry alone on how freaky (and fashion-challenged) the University of Tennessee fans are. I never want to see the color orange again.

Wasn't that a great Redskins game yesterday? Sure looked like they were going to win it. Mike Wilbon's chat today was predictably full of whiners about the two-point conversion, but he put them in their place:

Wilbon's Wrong: Actually Wilbon if you look closer, the Betts return is when his heel NEVER hit the ground, therefore he was not out. I'm a runner and when you sprint, it's only your toes, that is why he was able to stay in. The 2-pt call was blatant and obivous...this is not Redskins propaganda but the complete truth and the league needs to do something about it.
This isn't just Redskin's calls but look around the league, its ridiculous. Let's not even get started on the "tuck" rule.

Michael Wilbon: You don't know his heel never hit the ground. You never heard anybody say his heel didn't hit the ground. All that ruling meant is that view didn't give the zebras enough evidence to say for a fact the camera shot proved his heel hit the ground. Same with Alstott, bro...This is why fan starts the word "fanatic"...Don't try to get it pass me that the refs always cheat or get it wrong for the other guy, but not your guy...Not in this Chat House.

He makes a good point on the questionable calls:

New York, N.Y.: Mike,
Thanks for giving us the opportunity to ask questions, I was wondering what you think of the Mike Alstott call now that you have probably seen a replay of it. In you column you seem unsure.

Michael Wilbon: I loved the call of sending Mike Alstott into the line to win the game from one yard out when your defense can't stop Mark Brunell. That's the smart play, win or lose. Now, did Alstott get in? No, I don't think so...But I'm not about to pin the game on a bad call when Ladell Betts stepped out of bounds on that kickoff return for touchdown and that wasn't called back either.

He didn't limit the smackdown to the 'Skins:

New York, N.Y.: Wilbon, Can the Giants rebound from that Horrible game on Sunday to prepare for Philly?

Michael Wilbon: What, you think they're going to lose the rest of their games and they're sobbing right now at the practice facility? Do you follow the results every week of NFL games? Teams bounce back all the time and come off of disappointing and sometimes even humiliating losses to win the next week...

So Eli sucked. (Yay!) It wasn't a horrible game, not like 36-0 or anything, though it sure was a weird one. Honestly, given the way the Eagles are playing and with the team turmoil they have right now, I don't think the Giants will have much trouble. Of course I hope they don't win, but things are on their side. I don't know what this yahoo is worried about. Typical Giants fan.

Great comment from Wilbon here:

Brunswick, Md.: Mike,
You slapped me around a couple of weeks ago when I suggested after the Giants game that Greg Williams and company might be over-rated.
What are thoughts on the Redskins defensive woes now?

Michael Wilbon: They've looked pretty bad two of the last three weeks...If it turns out you were ahead of the curve, I will beg forgiveness for my slapping and offer many hugs...But I don't think I feel that way just yet.

The Redskins defense, while it's not the worst, is inconsistent at best. They have some really great games, and then they have games like yesterday. What is that about?

Anyway, I am so incredibly jealous of The Advice Huckster for winning two courtside (!!!!) tickets to the upcoming Wiz/Lakers game. Huck, I fully expect you to be heckling Kwame loud enough to be heard on TV, like the annoying guy from the Nats games. If you're hoarse the next morning, you know you've done your job well. I hope Mr. "Six Points a Game" and "Couldn't Make It In D.C." Brown sucks it big-time when he comes back here.

And thanks to Anonymous, who brought my attention to this great article about T.O.'s career prospects:

He could play for the Oakland Raiders, who may overlook T.O.'s lack of actual criminal activity and hire him. Unfortunately, this predictable marriage couldn't occur for a while.

Jeopardy Contestant
"Ill take 'Songs of the '60s' for 200, Alex. What? I don't care if we haven't gotten to Double Jeopardy yet. I want 200. And I want it now."

Rap Star
Owens already has had some success on the other side of a recording studio, but he may be more suited to rockin' the mike. The stage name I'm going with is "2 Cent," which sort of defines T.O.'s inability to shut up when shutting up is important.

Another very brief hiatus

Due to this long weekend's exciting trip to "Action-Packed" Pigeon Forge, TN (seriously, that's how they bill themselves), I won't be updating until next week...in the meantime, I'll be following the T.O. saga and other stories. I just love that the pizza guy wouldn't even accept a tip from T.O. How awesome is that?

See you next week!

For the love of GOD

It's every straight man's wet dream:

Two Carolina Panthers cheerleader were charged Monday after their arrest at a bar where witnesses told police the woman had sex in a restroom.

Cheerleaders? Girl-on-girl action? Oh, it gets better:

Witnesses said the women were having sex in a stall, angering other patrons waiting in line to get into the restroom.

Thomas was charged with battery after allegedly striking a bar patron when she was leaving the restroom, then landed in even more trouble after police said she gave officers a driver's license belonging to another Panthers cheerleader who was not in Tampa.

And yes, even fighting. I'm sure the male spectators wished there was a mud or Jell-O pit the cheerleaders could have happened to fall into. This is straight out of one of DCLastCall's letters to Penthouse. Not quite the classy porn that Miss M was looking for...

BREAKING NEWS: T.O. is the ultimate asshole

Oh yeah, I guess that isn't much of a shocker.

Taking a cue from The Advice Huckster, I'm going to briefly address the situation (since it goes against my anti-T.O. policy). Anyone who couldn't see this coming is blind; after all, the dude did put his Jersey house on the market last month. I think Sean Salisbury from ESPN.com said it best:

I remember when Owens was leaving the 49ers and couldn't stop talking about how much he loved Donovan McNabb. Now he acts like the guy ran over his dog or something. Let's be honest here -- this isn't about McNabb or Garcia, it's about Owens. If he was with the Patriots he'd hate Tom Brady, if he was with the Colts he'd hate Peyton Manning. Heck, if he was with the Packers he'd hate Brett Favre. This is who Owens is and no team should have to stand for it because as great a receiver as he is, he's 10 times worse as a teammate.

I can't wait to see who picks him up next. Sure, the guy is a great player. Is he worth all the drama? Screw that! The damage he's doing to team morale is much worse than the injuries they're suffering right now.

A close runner-up to the Ultimate Asshole title would be Tom Benson:

Tom Benson was a no-show for New Orleans' game against Chicago on Sunday in Baton Rouge, staying true to his earlier promise never to return to the city where last week he swatted at a TV news camera and argued with a heckling fan.

After the Saints' loss to Miami a week ago, Benson fired off an e-mail to NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue saying his trip to Baton Rouge was a "total disaster," adding that he and his family members could have been injured or killed and that he would no longer attend games in Baton Rouge either this season or if any Saints games are scheduled here in 2006.

Money sure doesn't buy class or smarts, as Benson proves once again. "He and his family members could have been injured or killed." Give me a fucking break! Jackass. I truly hope he gets what's coming to him- and that don't mean lots and lots of money.

And who can believe that the Wizards, of all teams, would be 3-0 right now? Go Wiz! Gee, too bad Kwame and the Lakers aren't having as strong of a start right now...in fact, it appears that Kwame hasn't done much yet in two games for the Lakers. Let's hope that trend continues.

The rise of Butterstick Zimmerman

When I heard this on the news this morning, I wasn't overly surprised: the Nats traded Vinny Castilla to San Diego for right-handed pitcher Brian Lawrence. Castilla was starting to show his age, especially towards the end of the season, with the injury to his left knee. The addition of Ryan Zimmerman to the lineup in September made an immediate impact at 3B. Anyone could see that Castilla wasn't needed there anymore, especially since Zimmerman could not only play well at 3B, but he could hit well too. Castilla was really struggling with both aspects. It's hard, because at some point, age does become a factor. How do you compete against a 21-year-old?

Zimmerman's potential left the Nationals essentially having to move Castilla, who is 38 but wants to remain a starter, according to his agent, Eric Goldschmidt. "He still thinks he can play every day," Goldschmidt said.

Yeah, Castilla, good luck with that.

I was hoping that Zimmerman would get more playing time next season and it looks like he's certainly going to get it now. Some of the Nat fanatics have dubbed him "Dutch" Zimmerman, and in one case, "Butterstick" Zimmerman. (I'm partial to the latter myself.) He is definitely proving himself worthy of having a nickname; he's done quite well in the Arizona Fall League and I look forward to seeing more of him in the spring.

Halloween Edition

I just loved Gene Weingarten's chat today so much, that I have to reproduce it here. First, especially for the Captain (since I know he loves Gene too), the comment about the Redskins. Pretty harsh, even I have to admit:

Anyonymous Source: The Redskins stink this year, but please don't quote me.

Gene Weingarten: Ah, yes. You know, I meant to start this chat with a statement about that game on Sunday, but I realized that this was a difficult issue. I have, in the past, gloated about the Yankees at the expense of the Orioles, but I did that knowing that the Orioles are not really in the hearts of the area sports fans. I know you guys love your Skins, and I am far too sensitive -- and desirous of maintaining readership -- to express any joy in the defeat of the Redskins at the hands of my childhood team, the Giants. So I will leave it to others to make immature and hurtful comparisons, such as suggesting that the blood left on the field was menses.

Now, on to the rest, a discussion about Halloween costumes. I love those egg and sperm costumes:

Gene Weingarten: Good afternoon.
After about 7:30, in my neighborhood, Halloween gets just a little jaded. The average age of the trick or treaters begins to rise, and their enthusiasm to fall. A sense of wonder is replaced by a sense of entitlement. Fabulously dorky Mom-designed costumes are replaced with ten-cent masks, or nothing at all. Halloween becomes a listless, cynical trolling for free treats. I give them up, though, because what will we do with 200 Snickers Fun-Size! bars the next day? But I have my limits.

Around 8 o'clock last night the doorbell rang and a kid was at the door. He had to be 18. He wore no costume. He was a big guy, almost threateningly large. He had a cell phone clapped to his ear. Wordlessly, he turned around and presented his backpack, into which I was supposed to drop some candy. I could see that others had. I had the candy in my hand, but instead, reached for the nearest non-candy item I could find, which explains why -- big, rude kid, are you reading this? -- there was a cigar stub in your backpack.
_______________________

Land of milk and beer: I'm not normally a fan of the almost-high school aged kids that tend to show up at our house on Halloween. Last night proved an exception. A group of kids, easily middle school-aged, rang the bell. Among them were a couple of ducks, a couple of horribly sick looking individuals, and a couple of hapless looking kids dressed as commandos.
They informed me, when asked, that they were the president's response to a possible bird flu outbreak.
I was tempted to give them all the candy I had.
_______________________

New York, N.Y.: I had some great high school trick or treaters come by last night. At 8:30 ish a guy in a giant round pink costume knocked and asked for candy. At 8:45, about 15 other kids dressed as sperm dropped by looking for the guy in the egg costume. It was great. _______________________

Parlez-vo,US: Halloween was the most fun when I was living in France. Everyone gets into it - everybody gets to dress up. Even the homeless guys were "in the spirit" - hiding in trash cans and jumping out at people, putting on masks and running around the downtown streets. Parents and kids hanging around the downtown area at 10 o'clock at night and just having a howling crazy time.
I miss it. It's not fair that we don't get to dress up like Superman one night a year anymore. Stupid adulthood.
_______________________

Baltimore, Md.: Regarding trick or treaters - I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Last night, a number of kids showed up without costumes. I always ask what they were dressed at, mostly to see how creative they could be. One young child (about 10 years old), scrunched up his face, thought for a moment and then said "I'm a junkie!" I also encountered pimps and drag queens. None of these children were older than 12. So what do you think? Laugh or cry?
_______________________

Halloween Costume: When I was in 8th grade, I dressed up in the cliche costume of a girl from the '50s (poodle skirt, bobbie socks, etc). One of my teachers (an old lady) lived in the neighborhood and we stopped at her house to trick-or-treat. She yelled at me because she thought I wasn't wearing a costume!

From 52 to 0 in 7 days

I will TRY not to gloat too badly. I can't help it, though- after hearing about what a wonderful team the Redskins are supposed to be this year, I have to wonder how it was possible that they were unable to score any points at all today. Scoring 52 points against a lousy team is one thing; scoring 0 points against a decent team is a telling sign, in my opinion. (Oh, I'm sure this game was only a fluke, or something along those lines.) And it's too bad- I loathe Eli Manning and I can't stand the Giants. I actually would have preferred to see the Redskins put up a good fight today!

But four Washington turnovers? Not getting a first down until the second quarter? You're not going to win football games playing like that. Hell, even the Texans won today! (I wish my dad had gone to the game- I would have liked to hear the first-hand fan reaction- but he gave his tickets away.) That would have been a fun game to attend; a real nail-biter, too. Because of the crazy fans (i.e. the guy in the photo; he's pretty typical), Texans games are a hoot to attend either way, but I imagine they're even more fun when the Texans win. (I've never been to a winning game, unfortunately.)

Anyway, it will be interesting to see who ends up at the top of the NFC East at the end of the season; I doubt it will be Philly. If it's Dallas I will puke, quite literally, on the first Cowboys fan I see after that happens. (I may puke on a Cowboys fan regardless; depends on my mood.)

Redskins fans will wish the little error below on the NFL.com website from Sunday evening was true. I know it's hard to read, but the caption below the photo says, "The Redskins, Panthers and Cowboys have already produced blowout wins, and now the Broncos are taking it to the Eagles in one of four contests currently in action."

From LA to L.A.

From all accounts, it appears that the Saints will not be returning to New Orleans next season. From today's Washington Post:

"...the league is concerned that the area will not be able to fully bounce back and is thus open to the possibility of having the Saints play in San Antonio next season and then move permanently to Los Angeles."

That' s a bunch of crap, of course; Saints owner Tom Benson has been wanting to move the team for a while and now he has a palpable excuse. It's a real shame; the city needs the team more than ever now. Benson, by following the money, is bringing some seriously bad voodoo upon himself; you can be certain of that.

But Los Angeles? I don't know. I haven't lived there, but I've spent a lot of time there in the past few years and I just don't see it as a football city. After all, there's a reason the Raiders left in the first place. Yes, there are tons of Raiders fans left there. Will they convert into Saints fans? Eh, we'll see. As my aunt (who's lived there for 30 years) says, "L.A. doesn't need or want football." Many do, I'm sure, but it's clear that the sport hasn't been missed. L.A. is a basketball/baseball town.

THIS JUST IN:

Infielders Damian Jackson and Bernie Castro signed one-year, free-agent contracts with the Washington Nationals on Thursday.

Jackson, 32, offers versatility and speed: He appeared at six defensive positions for the San Diego Padres this season (second base, third base, shortstop and all three outfield spots) and stole 15 bases in 17 attempts.

Castro, a 26-year-old second baseman who made his big league debut in 2005, batted .288 with six steals in 24 games with Baltimore. He hit .315 and stole 41 bases in 47 attempts at Triple-A Ottawa.

"I need a gay!"

Best quote of the night, courtesy of two "nuns"...

Last night, Miss M, Fred, and I went to the High Heel Races. Miss M and I realized that it was the 10-year anniversary since the first time we went to one. Aww...

Anyway, we got there early and before my camera crapped out, I took some pics. This female bodybuilder was very obliging.




















A highlight of the evening was when the football players and their referees arrived. I had to heckle the Cowboy representative, of course, but otherwise, they were great. I tried to get a better pic of the Packers costume (besides being in the background here) for DC Last Call; unfortunately, the camera failed. Sorry, dude.

I refer you to DC Sports for some great pics, including one of my favorite costume of the evening, the Washington Monument. It was fantastic and rivals the best one I ever saw (three people who barreled through Adams Morgan one year as a Metro car).

I realize this isn't an entirely sports-related entry, but at least there's bodybuilding, football, and running, right?

He is SO gone

Anyone else think Freddy Adu is out of D.C. after this season, or is it just me?

Please explain to me why MLS would make him the highest-paid player and then Nowak would have him sit on the bench. I don't blame him for his outburst in the media last week; not hugely professional, but what are you gonna do. I would have reacted the same way he did. At this point, I think it's too little too late:

D.C. United teenager Freddy Adu, who was suspended for the club's playoff opener Friday after complaining about playing time this season, will be available to play in this weekend's match against the Chicago Fire at RFK Stadium.

"As far as the club is concerned, this issue is behind us and we're eagerly awaiting Sunday's game," United spokesman Doug Hicks said this afternoon. "He will train all week and we expect him to be available for Sunday."

Sorry, Doug, I have the feeling that Freddy will be talking to the Metrostars this week. Just call it a hunch.

But really, this is ridiculous:

U.S. national team coach Bruce Arena said that he will probably invite D.C. United teenager Freddy Adu to training camp in January, the first formal preparations for the 2006 World Cup.

Are you serious? Yes, he's a good player, but he's not quite there yet. Maybe by 2010, but not now. How many countries have 16-17-year-olds playing on their teams? One could argue that they're not Freddy Adu, but he still has a long way to go.

Freddy's just the latest in a long line of disgruntled superstars in D.C. who eventually go on to even more greatness elsewhere. What about Jaromir Jagr, Michael Jordan, Kwame Brown, Deion Sanders (ha)...the list goes on and on. Sure, those guys are a bunch of narcissistic dickheads and Freddy isn't, but Washington doesn't seem to have a good sports history when it comes to the big names.

I hope I'm wrong...I like seeing Freddy here, and it's great for DC United. It would be a kick in the groin (for Fred, anyway) to see him anywhere else, especially with the Metrostars. But he's got to get that playing time, and if he won't get it here, I'm sure he'll get it elsewhere.

Good timing

Fred and I usually consult the NFL schedules for the Giants/Jets, Eagles, Ravens, and Redskins when we're driving along the Northeast Corridor on Sundays in the fall (or MLB schedules for the Phillies, Orioles, and Nationals in the summer). However, we didn't think to do that today until about 12:30 when we were in the Central Park Zoo, which was short-sighted on our part. We quickly realized that by the time we got out of Manhattan and got on the road, we'd be likely to hit the game traffic in Philly. (We never take the Jersey Turnpike all the way to the Delaware Memorial Bridge.)

Fred was antsy the entire time- not because he wanted to beat the stadium traffic, but because of the Eagles' lousy play up until that point. Sure enough, we crossed over the Walt Whitman Bridge just in time to hear Matt Ware run the ball in for the game-altering touchdown. As that happened, we drove through an intersection and noticed a Philly cop sitting in a van supposedly watching traffic, but since the cop chose that moment to turn his siren on in jubilation, I assume he wasn't paying attention to much else. We drove by the stadium about two minutes later, just in time to see the fireworks go off. Fred's glee was almost complete at that point. (It came when the game was over.)

Come on. Don't you think this is a little much?

All of the Washington Redskins' lingering woes were remedied with one half of football yesterday.

For God's sake, it was ONE GAME. Like these problems were instantly solved by playing one bad team. Can't wait to see what happens in the next game- if the lack of turnovers are again absent when they play the Giants next week, I will stand corrected.

Sure, Brunell et al. played well, but it's not like they were playing the Patriots or anything; more like the NFC's version of the Texans. Frankly, I thought it was interesting that the Redskins scored over 50 points for the first time in six years. Why did it take so long if they're so capable of winning, according to the local media?

And a huge YAY to Seattle for pulling out that last-minute win over the Cowboys!

DAMN BLOGGER

ARGH. I just wrote a long post and stupid Blogger ate it. Talk about technical difficulties!

No time to rewrite it now. I should join Youppi! for a drink- I could use one.

experiencing technicial difficulties

stay tuned!

Bang, zoom...I mean, Let's Go Caps

(photo courtesy of the Washington Post)

What a great start to the season. Ovechkin proved that he really is going to be something big in the years to come. Yes, his two goals were great, but not only can he score, he can check too, according to the Post article:

On his first shift, the future star of the Capitals threw a body check so hard it dislodged the support between two pieces of plexiglass along the end boards, causing a three-minute stoppage of play -- not that the fans minded.

Fred was gleeful as he was recounting this to me. He said that one simple move really amped up the energy in the place and it was basically all over for the Blue Jackets from there, whether they knew it or not. Yeah, they outshot the Caps by a huge margin (37-19), but the final score is all that matters.

There was so much hockey on last night since all the teams played, and there were numerous free previews of the hockey package on Comcast and via the internet, that I don't even know what time Fred went to bed- he was surrounded by hockey and loved it. It pissed me off to see Bertuzzi on the ice in the Vancouver game. Asshole basically ended someone else's career and received no real punishment for it. The NHL should be ashamed (but of course they're not). That's a complaint for another day.

Besides that, the only other thing that irritated me was that Crosby got an assist in the Penguins game. I was so happy that they lost (and lost badly; 5-1: ha!), but I wish he hadn't gotten that assist because then there wouldn't have been anything at all to talk about with him. The commentators were really stretching to find something, anything, good to say about Crosby because of course they had to talk about him. Never mind that Ovechkin had a great game, but he's not the big phenom right now so they don't want to focus on him. I did love this bit from The Globe and Mail piece:

Late in the second, Gionta stole the puck from defenseman Brooks Orpik in the Penguins zone and skated in to beat Thibault unassisted. About then, the crowd started chanting, “overrated” — a swipe not just as Crosby but well-known Penguins teammates such as Recchi, John LeClair and Sergei Gonchar.

Hee! Ain't that the truth. Oh, I know Crosby will have better games, and there will be moments when he proves himself to be the Next Big Thing. But why not focus on the players who are doing that right now? Even this guy had a better game:

With the hockey world watching, the first-round draft pick lived up to all of his expectations and more with a goal and two points in his first NHL game. Sidney Crosby, it wasn't.

Zach Parise, New Jersey's first-round draft pick in 2003, scored a power-play goal and assisted on one of Brian Gionta's two goals in an outstanding debut that led the New Jersey Devils to a 5-1 victory over Crosby's Pittsburgh Penguins on Wednesday night.

I just get so tired of hearing about one player all the time, especially when there's equally good or even better players out there but no one seems to notice (because all the attention is focused on that one guy). I call it the LeBron syndrome- sure, the dude may be an amazing player and all, but he's not the only one out there. Even when Wayne Gretzky was on the ice, Mario Lemieux was out there too. There's room for more than one great player in any sport.

p.s. and thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes :-)

ASSCLOWN ALERT

I'm a day late on this, but I've been sick...I had to post it though. It needs to be said and Mike Wilbon said it so well:

Washington, D.C.: Do you think Kwame Brown will ever get it? He has no game, he does not know how to play away from the ball on both ends of the court and his shot is too weak. Way too much arch. Plus he never bends his knees or runs hard. I'm so happy he is gone. Worst pick ever!

Michael Wilbon: I'm glad you brought up Kwame Brown, since he popped off in The Post Sunday to Michael Lee. Kwame Brown's problem isn't primarily a problem of technique.

Kwame Brown is a jerk. He behaves like a bum toward his teammates. He's irresponsible. And he's a liar. He called Gilbert Arenas last night to say he was misquotes. Kwame is a liar and a bum. Gilbert Arenas, who is a stand-up kid, went to Kwame's house after Kwame had been suspended for quitting on his team, and picked him up and brought him to practice...Went TO KWAME'S HOUSE...Called Kwame all the time to check on him, Kwame Brown is a bum, and I can't say it any other way. And guys who aren't accountable, are lazy, and know it all while talking trash about what they're GOING to do never amount to anything in any area where competition is ongoing.

Glad I got that off my chest.

AMEN. I hope Kwame Brown tanks big time, but something tells me that he'll probably do well outside of D.C.- like most Wizards players who leave the area. I really hope he sucks, though. The karma bus has his name all over it, and it's only a matter of time. I can't wait to see if he starts blaming Kobe when things go wrong during the season. He has to blame someone; he can't seem take responsibility for his own actions. As the great Homer Simpson would say, "That's the American Way."

The start of a legend and the end of a season

Went to the Caps-Penguins preseason game on Friday night. Here's a photo I took of Ovechkin warming up- but I really don't think he needed to do it. The kid is amazing- scored a hat trick and an assist on another goal. But does he get any real respect from the Canadian media? Nah, of course not. Mr. Canadian, Fred, will most likely disagree with me on this one, but this article from TSN was a load of crap (a sign of things to come, I'm sure). Not only did it disaparage Ovechkin from the opening sentence (it was only because Crosby wasn't there that Ovechkin was able to hog the limelight and do so well) but the article also links to another article about how great Crosby is. I'm sorry, Crosby may very be a great player, but he has yet to prove himself much on the big league ice. So does Ovechkin, for that matter, but what he's done so far is pretty impressive. In one of the Capitals message board forums, I even read a comment from a Penguins fan who would trade Crosby for Ovechkin any day. Can't say I blame him- I think Ovechkin, with all his temperamental issues, is still a better bet. It was incredible to watch him; he made the goalie look irrelevant. I can't wait to see what he'll do for the Caps this year.

After that game was a benefit game: the FBI vs. the Canadian Embassy. Here's a pic that I'm sure Cookie will appreciate. But who doesn't like to see hockey players stretching? Anyway, it was an entertaining game once we moved away from most of the FBI people. Fred was rooting for the Canadians (of course) and I had planned for rooting for the FBI (it's an industry thing). But after hearing some of the rude, ignorant, boorish comments from some of the FBI supporters against the Canadians, I changed my mind.

Team Canadian Embassy scored quickly, and they were up to a 5-0 lead before the guys got tired. Then the FBI fought their way back, and the final score was 6-4 (with 2 disallowed FBI goals).

We also went to the last Nationals game today. We figured it was only right, since we went to Opening Day on April 14 and had to close out the season. It was a bummer that they didn't win (I knew they wouldn't, since I've gone to about 20 games this season and haven't been to a winning one since June; I must be a jinx), but it was great to be there anyway. Weather was perfect, Nats merchandise was 50% off, and the fireworks were going strong. Speaking of fireworks, I saw the best license plate in the parking lot:

If you've ever heard a radio broadcast of a Nats win, then you've heard the phrase "Bang, zoom go the fireworks." The rest of the vehicle had the usual Nats paraphernalia on it as well; it's always great to see a proud Nats fan. Finishing the season at .500 is about as good as anyone could ask of the team. I don't think anyone expected that to happen. Of course, it would have been preferable if they didn't end up in last place in the division, but it figures that they don't have any horribly lousy Kansas City-type teams in the NL East. Oh well.

Here's to the Nats, and here's to next season!

Speak of the devil...

How funny that a story about Jamie Heward just showed up in the Post yesterday, after I had just posted that picture with him. It was an interesting article:

Jamie Heward thought his NHL career was finished. It had been three seasons since he had skated in the league, and his phone hadn't exactly been ringing off the hook.

So it should surprise no one that the Caps picked him up...no slam against Jamie, but that's typical for the Caps. They seem to get the guys that no one wants.

That's OK...he's definitely on the older side (34), but they could use some experience on the team.

In Nationals news- bye bye, Stanton; it was nice knowing ya:

Red Sox Acquire Stanton From Nationals

The Red Sox acquired left-hander Mike Stanton from the Washington Nationals on Thursday for right-handers Rhys Taylor and Yader Peralta.

But here's the best part:

Boston's trade means Stanton could wind up pitching this weekend against his former team, the New York Yankees.

I hope he sticks it to them good! Stanton wasn't a major star or anything for the Nats, but provided some decent pitching when they needed it (and they sure needed it at times). I hope those two young arms the Nats got in exchange will work out well next season.

They're BAAAACK

Granted, it's mostly a bunch of guys no one knows. But you WILL know them, for better or worse, by the end of the season.

Fred and I went to the Caps FanFest on Friday to scout out the guys and see who the eye candy was (oh, wait, that was me). We spent too much time at Bailey's so we only were able to get to one table: Jamie Heward, Chris Bourque, and Dainus Zubrus.

Here's Jamie:

He was a really nice guy with a great personality. I'm sure he's a fantastic hockey player too.

Zubie's always a favorite of mine; I remarked that he had that sexy accent. His response: "Guess I'd better not lose it then." How could you not adore him?!?

He looks much better when he smiles. Looks so serious here. I bet he's a lot of fun and a big flirt.

After the guys signed autographs, they were introduced to the crowd. Fred and I love people-watching at these things, since we always see the big hockey dorks, or the pin people, or whoever. Anyway, after the introductions, there was a "big announcement": it was about Halpern being elected captain by the team. Big shocker there; who else would it be? He'll do a great job.

Apparently I'm now going to the preseason game on Friday, so I should have some photos of the Crosby-Ovechkin and Canadian Embassy-FBI matchups.

Braves fans are NASTY...

...but you already knew that.

According to a study by the American Society of Microbiology, men are dirtier than women. (Shocker!!!) Scientists confirmed by spying in public restrooms, watching as one-quarter of men left without washing their hands. The worst offenders were at an Atlanta Braves game, where 37 percent of men left the bathroom without washing, and 16 percent of the women did. Can you imagine that? How would one discreetly stand around the bathroom, watching people wash (or not wash) their hands without attracting some attention?

Tony K. and me

Guess who I met the other day? I volunteered at the Gulf Coast Relief Run on Saturday and he was the celebrity race starter. Tony was nice enough to take some time after performing his official duties to take a picture with me. And how cute, in a dorky way, that he wore his PTI hat. Too bad I look so awful; I was busy explaining that my husband is one of the idiots who listens to him and watches the show religiously (Tony interrupted, saying, "Don't call him an idiot."). But it's true! Fred was incredibly jealous when he found out, of course (see, he was busy doing the run); we were going to see if we could get our pic taken with Tony, but he was already gone. Next time.

The Redskins won the Super Bowl!

Well, you'd think so after all the coverage they're getting in the Washington media this morning. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that they were actually able to beat the Cowgirls for once (see Wilbon's excellent column from yesterday, "It's Not a Rivalry if the Other Team Never Wins," for more context). Some would probably argue that the Redskins are on their way, except that they have no offense. Come on, their offense put up 23 points in two games. Even Chicago put up 38 points on Sunday alone. The 'Skins were lucky last night in that 71-second span that Brunell could actually throw two touchdown passes. Who knew?

But now we'll never hear the end of it. "The Redskins won two in a row!" I know, it is unbelievable and probably won't happen again for a while. "When was the last time they went 2-0?" Well, it has been a long time... "They're on FIRE!" Yeah, 23 total points sure is HOT.

Oh well, I always love to see Dan Snyder jumping up and down like the idiot he is. That's worth a Redskins win, anyway.

Bits & pieces

Since I haven't had much of a chance lately to post some of the favorite things I've read this week, I'm including them all in this post.

In the NFL, from a Sept. 14 article in the Washington Post:

Rams President John Shaw told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch that one of the team's executives would be disciplined for leaving a threatening phone message on the voice mail of one of the newspaper's columnists.

After columnist Bernie Miklasz wrote that Coach Mike Martz deserved support instead of back-stabbing from members of the club's front office, Samir Suleiman, the Rams' director of football administration, reportedly left a message for Miklasz in which he said to "tell your source that I'm not a back-stabber. I'm a . . . throat-slasher, and he'll know the difference before it's all said and done."

Subtle. Dumbass, did you think that leaving a message on a reporter's voicemail was a good idea?

Shaw declined to tell the paper what disciplinary action would be taken.

Hmm...I'm guessing a slap on the wrist? Little to nothing? Wouldn't surprise me.

Talk about karma- I can't believe this happened so FAST!

This week can't end soon enough for Atlanta Falcons cornerback Kevin Mathis.

Working in a one-on-one drill in practice, Mathis landed awkwardly on his left knee and tore his anterior cruciate and medial collateral ligaments. The ninth-year veteran also sustained damage to another part of his knee and hamstring.

The injuries are considered career-threatening for Mathis, who turns 32 in April.

'Nuff said.

From a Sept. 14 Post article about the Nats-Mets game:

Meanwhile, in the Nationals dugout, several players appeared to be hit with something from the crowd. Several players turned back toward the crowd, but it did not appear any fan was ejected.

Why am I not surprised? Maybe because Mets fans are among the most obnoxious and klassiest out there? And none of the fans were tossed out of the park for throwing stuff at the players- that sets a fine example. No matter what, I would NEVER throw stuff at the opposing team. Somehow, I suspect that the Sept. 24th and 25th games that Fred and I are attending (with a non-vulgar Mets fan, incidentally) will be similar to the July 4th game, where we were heckled and mooned by the loudest and most obscene Mets fans on Earth. (Well, we didn't moon back, but certainly did our share of heckling after that.) Oh boy. Can't wait!

Boswell is, yet again, a god:

Next Tuesday, Barry Bonds will come to Washington and, for the first time since last December's revelations about "the clear" and "the cream," the San Francisco Giants slugger will face a crowd in a potentially hostile ballpark: RFK Stadium. Will Bonds need to borrow Rafael Palmeiro's earplugs?

Right now I'm not planning on going to any of the Giants games, but if I do, you better believe I'm loudly booing every time Bonds steps up to the plate. What a fraud. I hope the RFK crowd treats him with the derision he deserves.

It gets better:

This week in Frisco, Bonds got a free pass from hometown fans. Although, when he took the field for the first time this season on Tuesday, he didn't warm up by playing catch with a teammate. Instead, he brought a child with leukemia onto the field with him as 1) a generous gesture of compassion or 2) a human shield so nobody could boo him without insulting the kid. If Bonds jogs to left field in RFK surrounded by a phalanx of homeless hurricane survivors, don't be surprised.

Bonds is absolutely despicable. You KNOW why he had that kid out there with him, and it wasn't because of #1.

Luckily, I'm not the only one who feels that way. I'm glad someone else will be there to do my job:

Arlington, Va.: Mr. Bos -
I have a 41-game package, and my seats are just a couple rows up in left field. Will you consider me a failure as a fan if I don't mercilessly remind Barry Bonds what a disgusting human being he is at both the Tuesday and Thursday games? (I'm hoping you say "yes," just so I'll have an excuse to be obnoxious.)

Boz also had some great comments in today's discussion:

Tom Boswell: Pat Gillick said to me, years ago, when he was O's general manager, "You are watching the destruction of a great franchise."
Pretty unusual for somebody to say that while he is still the GM!
Somebody should make up "Free The Oriole 25" T-shirts.

I'm not an O's fan, but I sure do agree with that. It must be torture to be stuck under the Angelos regime, both for the players and the fans.

Also from Mr. Boswell:

Tuesday is a fan referendum. But a vocal one. It is NOT an opportunity to throw things at players __unless you want to go to jail. Let me say that throwing anything at a defenseless athlete is certainly at least as bad as being cheating in a sport.

Hear that, Mets fans? Even if your "security" guards are too bereft in their duties to do their jobs, you shouldn't be throwing stuff. That's just wrong and certainly doesn't endear you to the team or its fans. I sure won't be cutting Mets fans any slack in a couple of weeks.

And the best for last, from a story about the third Nats game in NY:

Veterans forced rookies to don dresses and even, in the case of Tony Blanco, a leather mini-skirt. Everyone smiled.

I'm sure they did more than smile. Can you imagine Zimmerman in a dress? Awww! If only I had Phil's skilz with Photoshop and The Google or whatever he uses, I'm sure I could produce a pic of Tony Blanco in a leather mini. Oh well.

Who wants to see hot, sweaty guys?

That's not why Fred took these photos- he was just thrilled to see the boys in action on the ice- but so was I.

Check out Ovechkin and Chris Bourque, wearing the new style of training jerseys (or sweaters, as they're correctly called, I suppose):

How about everyone's favorite goalie, Olie? Are those smaller pads I see?

And Ovechkin stretching. Fun!

A quickie:

Apparently T.O. and President Bush are on the same strategic wavelength:

T.O. to auction championship ring for Katrina relief